Breath is the way back to presence

There's a moment I notice often in my sessions. A woman is lying on the table or the mat, and somewhere in the first few minutes, her breath changes. It drops lower. It slows. Her shoulders melt a little, and her face softens, and I can feel the whole room settle with her.

Nothing dramatic happened. She just breathed. And that, to me, is one of the most remarkable things about being a person.

The one thing you're always doing

Your breath is happening right now, without any effort from you. And yet it's also something you can guide. It's one of the very few bridges between the part of you that runs automatically and the part of you that chooses. That's why I've come to see it as a doorway.

When life gets fast, the breath gets high and shallow. We breathe into the chest and hold our bellies in. We forget to exhale fully. After years of that, the body forgets what a spacious breath feels like.

When you bring your attention back to the breath, even for a moment, something happens. You arrive. The mind stops racing ahead, the body stops bracing, and you land in the one moment you can actually live in, which is this one.

Body, mind and spirit, in one place

I don't separate body, mind and spirit when I teach, because I've never found them to be separate in the women I work with. A tight diaphragm is a physical thing, and it's also a story about how safe it feels to take up space. A worried mind makes the breath shallow, and a shallow breath makes the mind more worried.

Breath is where they all meet. When you breathe slowly and fully, the body relaxes, the mind quiets, and something deeper opens up, a sense of being connected to yourself and to something bigger than your to do list. Whatever you call that, I think it's what many of us are really longing for.

A simple way to come home

Here is something you can try right now, wherever you are. There's no right way to do it.

1. Let your feet rest on the floor and feel their weight.
2. Place one hand on your lower ribs and one on your belly.
3. Breathe in through your nose, slowly, and feel your ribs widen under your hand.
4. Let the breath out a little longer than it came in, as if you were fogging a window.
5. Repeat for a minute or two, and notice what changes.

That's it. If you feel dizzy or uncomfortable, return to your normal breathing and be kind to yourself. This is meant to feel gentle.

What breath has taught me

Over the years I've sat with so many women in breathwork, and I've watched grief, laughter, relief and plain old tiredness move through them, sometimes all in one afternoon. I never push for any of it. I simply make room, and the body does what it knows how to do. What I've learned is that we don't have to think our way to calm. We can breathe our way there, slowly, one exhale at a time, and let the rest follow.

Presence is a practice

I used to think presence was something you had or didn't have. Now I see it as something you practice, the way you practice anything you love. Some days you land quickly. Other days your mind wanders off a hundred times, and you bring it back a hundred times, and that is the practice.

What I hope for you is that you finish each day a little more alive than you started it. That you learn to come back to your body whenever life pulls you away. That you feel rooted, and strong, and present.

I'll hold the space. You just show up, and breathe.

Gentle breathwork is wonderful for many people, but it isn't for everyone. If you are pregnant, have a heart or lung condition, or a medical concern, please check with your doctor before trying breathing practices.

Andrea